Relationships are like Ninjas...sneaky

Right off the bat I have to say, I'm no expert...far from it in fact. But, relationships fascinate me...to me they're one of the most complicated concepts on the face of this fantastic earth. Like mysterious 80's movie style Ninjas, a relationship can sneak up on you or, when you think have one close, they vanish in a cloud of ancient Ninja smoke. Now obviously, it takes two to tango and those 'two' would generally have to like each other or at the very least, feel that they found 'the only hope' (but that would be sad and doesn't really count). This is when it gets really tricky...how difficult is it to get two complete strangers to like each other? and where the hell do these two strangers meet? And no, no movie romance here...'rescuing from a burning building' or '"ooo...you have a dog! and I have a dog...and they like each other...awwwww"' crap. Where do the genuine, real life people meet? The kind of people that have jobs, a core group of friends etc. Clubs? No...Thats just dirty and never seems to lead anywhere...especially when the alcohol fades. Work? no...thats too complicated, unless the other person works in a different department that you would seldom or never see, but it does seem to be likely...especially if you socialise in 'work circles'. How about online dating? See, I don't think I could do that...to actually accept my fate...I am so useless with woman that I have to get them to like me via email before they want to meet? Please Lord...please don't let that happen to me. Perhaps when I one day grow up and realise that I'll never have a proper grown up relationship I'll just accept a life of strippers...prostitutes and fast cars, doesn't sound too bad, but not ideal.

In all my cynicism, I am a big softy...with a, vomit, 'heart'...who used to, in my angst ridden youth, write poetry and play my guitar whilst thinking of lyrics about 'The one' or that ever unattainable beauty thats always just there but never quite.

So, all in all. I'll need to find someone at work via an internet dating site...we'd both have to have dogs and at some point I'll have to save one of her family members from a burning building whilst beating off strippers and prostitutes.

Seems simple enough.